BedPost Confessions

Maybe just me, but had to sit on a staircase because it was over sold and the seating sucks. Had to leave a quarter of the way through to pay the meter. Drinks over priced, I almost fell asleep so we left and had a long ride back home

I was recently on the North Door website looking for their Short Indies series and came across this by chance and after reading about it thought it sounded fun.
Although the website said it began at 7 with doors at 6, it didn’t actually start until 8, so I might call to check ahead as we sat around for an hour and a half during which they also screwed up the pizza order.
As far as the show itself, it was pretty entertaining. The people presenting stories were all great story tellers and had some amusing and entertaining stories to share. In between stories they shared anonymous audience confessions written on little cards which were on the seats when you walk in. They also gave away 5 or 6 dildos and vibrators including a baby arm sized one so there is always that… The hosts also did a good job and for $ 10 I thought it was a fun and unique way to spend the evening if you’re open to hearing some sexually explicit content.

I am stuck between whether I am relieved or disappointed that my confession wasn’t read during the November congregation of BedPost Confessions. The anticipation in itself was titillating, the solution is to keep returning and entering the story over and over until I get my satisfying anonymous embarrassment and move on with my life so I can become part of the regulars. One of us. One of us.
I can’t believe how well produced this show is for the bargain price of $ 10… I pay more to go to the movies for a less entertaining night 50% of the time. The show is vulnerable, hilarious, real, life affirming, brave, touching and damn exciting. I found the topics to be very vanilla, I don’t know if that says more about me or I just went on a tame night. I think tame, but even so it was refreshing.
I arrived right at 7 and that time worked out well for me and many arrived well after 7:30, so don’t be too discouraged if you don’t think you can make it by 6:30– it’s worth a shot. If you do make it early, there are plenty of distractions including past Confessions projected on a wall and sponsor’s tables with freebies, merchandise, and raffles. The drink prices are really reasonable– $ 5 for a stiff whiskey sour, you can order pizza, sandwiches, salads, and churro wraps in case you must.get.food.now. The people in attendance are some of the friendliest you’ll meet in Austin (if you want to make a new friend bring extra pens for your neighbors to write their confessions) and there’s a chance you can take home a free toy from one of the self-​proclaimed Fairy Dongmothers! It is a totally enthusiastic fantastic discovery that I will return to ASAP (like Dec 19 seriously).

Best thing in Austin. Funny show and friendly people.

Loved this! Entertaining, hilarious, sexy, and informative!
This place really fills up, so be sure to get there early!

Totally amazing, eye-​opening and hilarious monologues about sex and things that bump and grind in the night! Standing room only every time!

I’ve been to 20 performances over the last two years, and have seen the variety of performers that constantly entertain, amaze and move me on a personal level. The atmosphere is so welcoming and the hosts are so engaging. The confessions always evoke a smile, a shake of the head or outright laughter.
These people know how to put on a show and attract talented entertainers who bare their souls and desires!
Always the third Thursday of the month at the North Door. Come see what it is all about!

Life can be stressful and annoying at times. What you need is to sit back with a tasty bev and take a coupe of hours to revel in raunchy stories of the primal things we all feel from time to time… or for some of us perhaps all the time. It’s okay. You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals. That part I can say with complete confidence.
Bedpost Confessions happens every 3^rd Thursday of the month, it currently takes place at the ND (North Door) on E. 5^th St, it costs $ 10, and if you want to plant yo ass down you better get in line when the doors open because all the available seats quickly fill up. I have been to many Bedpost Confession events and they all end up standing room only.
So what exactly happens here? Bedpost Confessions is not unlike other spoken word events such as Mortified, The Moth, This American Life, ect. It is a series of people who stand up at a mic on a stage for 15ish minutes and tell stories of sex and lust. Sometimes there will be political stories tied to sex. Sometimes there will be magic shows. But almost always these stories are told by women (I have seen a few men do speaking but mostly women) and they are told in a funny fashion and in a serious fashion. But all are pretty explicit. Not for the squeamish. In between each story set the presenters do «I Confess» readings where the audience members (that would be YOU) write down anonymous confessions that the presenters pick to read to the crowd. There are always raffle drawings you can enter for cool prizes such as vibrators and lingerie.
Bedpost Confessions is also LGBT friendly so you will have a mix of sexuality in the stories.
If you are hungry there is a pizza place attached to the ND but that’s it. The ND currently has 2 full bars so you can pick from either one. If you are worried about drunk, horny people attacking you in the parking lot on the way out don’t be afraid as Bedpost has bouncers available to walk you to your vehicle.

NOT for the faint of heart, the conservative, the easily offended, the underage or your parents, Bedpost Confessions is a sexually charged, raunchy, exciting, fun, silly, inspiring all-​lady showdown of awesome.
It was jampacked — the most crowded some of the regulars have ever seen it I was told. We were ass to elbows up in there, trying to get drinks, jostling excitedly, waiting for the performance to begin. There was ruthless flirting, lots of goodwill and anticipation.
What followed is really hard to describe — so I wont. Suffice to say that the event was one of the most unique events I’ve ever been to. If you have the chance, I’d absolutely urge you to go to this. But get there early for chrissake. I confess I enjoyed every minute of this wild affair and will be there again next go round.

(*Exhaling exaggeratedly into the microphone after each word while I give you an example of what NOT to expect from an actual Bedpost Confessions performer… but certain elements were, in fact, part of my night*)
Wind…wafting…heavy…breathing…thumping…bunnies… drinking… fizzy alcohol… spinning — OOOH, pretty girl — round in circles… bartender ignoring me… panties twisting (ouch) … craving attention… f**king bartender look at me… panting… sloppily… running after a cab… pits sweating… sexy… punches… Whataburger.
Yeah, I suck at that. I’ll leave it to the ladies at Bedpost Confessions to weave hilariously sexy words of poetry in a way that entertains the mind and body in a weird, almost uncomfortable but certainly electric fashion.
I had no idea what to expect, but I have to hand it to the sensational Keri B. and the W3nD happy hour she throws down which led me here. For a cool $ 10.00 swing by the next show (get here early to ensure you get a seat… and order two drinks at a time to ensure you’re not constantly getting up for refills — and keep in mind that if you’re at the bar at the North entrance and not in the auditorium, he’s on his own and it’s just going to take a while with that huge crowd) and prepare to laugh.
These talented women are not only incredibly entertaining, they are also very enlightening and spreading sincere sexual awareness that we can all benefit from. There were no shortage of men in the audience and no lack in diversity. It seemed everyone came out to get edjumacated on the topic of sexy sex… and maybe even share a few secrets of their own on the confessional cards. These are a handy little tool used to fill in odd gaps in the show to allow a change in entertainer, etc… and to include the audience a bit in the fun. (I refrained just cause the world just ain’t ready for allllllll this.)

I have to hand it to Keri B., that woman knows how to throw a party. Didn’t she win an award for that or something? Anyway, Keri told us a month ago that we we going on a field trip for February’s edition of Women Who Wine and Drink ( Unilocal ladies, keep an eye on the Events tab if you’d like to join us next time). The field trip was to Bedpost Confessions and I confess, I had a blast. Best $ 10 I spent all week.
I was a little concerned that the event might be too raunchy or just way too much about weird sex stuff, but it was all the normal weird sex stuff that we’ve all experienced, just as experienced by people mostly different from us: a pregnant woman and a woman who self-​identified as a man and has extreme penis envy are the two that come to mind. Hearing such divergent truths about these women’s sex lives proves that we’re all really the same deep down: horny, hedonistic, powerful women. Solidarity!
Oh yes, and the sign language interpreters really made this show. I didn’t memorize any of the signs so I will have to go back again.
Keri’s tips about the venue are totally true and I wish I had been as clever as her and gotten two drinks to start then closed my tab. Bartenders were slow as Christmas. And yes, get there early. I think we’re all starved for these sorts of events in Austin, because I went to Mortified last week and it was the same deal: got there an hour early and it was already packed. I did not mind though, that I got to sit next to a handsome stranger at Bedpost who turned out not to be gay or seeing anyone, and we’re all worked up and loose from hearing about sex for two hours. Mmm-​hmm.
Lastly, mind the treacherous stairs all over this joint: they all seem very narrow and very steep, not a good combo with drinking and heels ;)

I confess…
You’ll see these placards everywhere at BC for you to fill in with your most secret desires, fantasies, fears, or fetish. Mine was read in the third round last nite. It said, well, I won’t tell you what it said as it got somewhat disgusted groans even from this crowd of freaks. In fact, this is a great gage of just how twisted you are I guess. If you can trip out the gays/​bis/​trannies and the swingers and the bds&m-ers, then thank god that’s anonymous! I admit I even blushed as mine was read but thankfully my friends didn’t notice. It’s almost liberating knowing they know a deep dark secret about me even if THEY don’t know they know it, you know?
In any case, I really had a ball here last nite! There’s nothing that is more life affirming than sitting closely in a crowded room with strangers and a few friends, sometimes squirming or slightly moaning, as a poet boldly and beautifully shares and bares her soul and her desire on stage, each… steamy. syllable. said… in breathless… yet bold. cadence, taking the audience on a sensual journey over and through and under her body. Whew!
And then the comic, Holly Lourka, shared some of her most intimate and embarrassing secrets in true comedic form, leaving us laughing and cringing and ultimately feeling close to her, to each other, in our shared feeling that we all have our own horror stories that have molded our sexuality.
And all through this the American Sign Language interpreters are grandly and vividly interpreting the raunch on stage, getting some of the biggest laughs. I now know the signs for «horny», erection, «jack off» (that one is universal), «blow job» (also universal), and «anal beads».
This show is great for everyone that has sex. That’s it. That’s all you need to know. Check your modesty and/​or your bigotry and/​or your judgement at the door. This is a church. MY church. The Church of the Holy Virgeyena. And it welcomes all kinds with open, uh, everything. Here we worship humanity and passion and crotchstitching, and sexuality in any of it’s myriad if forms, and beauty and vaginas and penii, and most importantly, openness and fearless intimacy.
Wow. I guess I confess…
I’m in love with Bedpost Confessions and all those bold beautiful women on stage.
** Some hints for first timers to my Church.
First, arrive early! Doors and THE BAR opens at 6:30. Place gets packed fast.
Second, get two drinks at the bar to save you standing in line again.

Third, pee early. They are limited on bathrooms so there’ll be a line.
Fourth, smile and talk to people. It’s so easy when you all know that you’re there for the same reason, sex. Takes the stigma and nervousness away from flirting and being brash. Kinda like a swingers club actually :)

Really??? No one has reviewed BedPost Confessions yet??? Am I really on the planet earth? Is it really 2012? I’m really confused right now :-/​How can this be???
Wait… I think I figured it out, all the reviews are to Spider House or 29^th Street Ballroom. Don’t get me wrong, both of these places are Amazing but BedPost Confessions is on another level. It’s its own entity. It gets its own reviews!!!
What is BedPost Confessions? Well…
SEX, SINGLE, LOVE, FUCKING, GAY, LAUGH, KISSING, HARD, FONDLE, MONOGAMOUS, TRANSGENDER, IMAGINATION, TOUCH, COUPLE, FOURPLAY, LESBIAN, ROUGH, SWINGER, MASTURBATE, MAN, ASS, DILDO, DOMINATRIX, VAGINA, FANTASY, WOMAN, SUBMISSIVE, PENIS, WET, GENTLE…
Are you turned on yet? Well you should be!
BedPost Confessions is just purely AMAZING!!!
If you haven’t gone your missing out on life. Check it out: