Shanghai Noodle House & Jesse’s Lounge

This place is right by my work, and every time I come here the place is nearly empty. The last time we went, the manager glared at my coworkers and I for wearing our coveralls – sorry for ruining your chance at a Michelin star, guy. I didn’t know that was going to be the day the food critics were coming.
A lonely Mongolian barbecue is visible through a hole in the wall, with untrustworthy-​looking ingredients in metal buckets arrayed in front of it and nobody standing behind it. There’s a tiny buffet in another corner: sad wontons floating in a callow broth, vegetables boiled in soy sauce, noodles boiled in soy sauce. There are packets of soy sauce which has been boiled in soy sauce, in case you didn’t get enough. There’s also a little buffet bin full of onion cakes which have given a second chance, but don’t let your guilt and pity persuade you to take one.
Actually, don’t let your guilt and pity persuade you to even go here. With any luck you’ll never meet the steely-​eyed manager who dislikes it when people pay with debit because that means he’ll have to pay taxes on it. Or maybe he only fears that if enough people pay by debit, someone in the government will figure out he’s running a restaurant and send a food inspector by.