HSBC

Old on the outside, new on the inside.
Surprisingly, closed on weekends, and truly banker hours: 10am-​4pm. Figured there would be more action on the weekends here.
1 ATM.

I had good relations with HSBC until recently, where a teller mis-​typed a sequence number on a certified cheque, thereby telling me that a cheque was invalid. I contacted the company and verified the number, then went back to the bank and proceeded to do the same thing, only in front of the teller. The teller refused to acknowledge that the cheque was good, and told me that I could keep coming back to check on the cheque. So, I opened an account at a local credit union. They confirmed what the company had said, that the cheque was valid. This is what happens when a bank hires a bad personality — they lose a customer, as well as a star on their Unilocal listing. I still heartily recommend hsbc, but make sure you deal with tellers you know, or you may just get «The Teller That Makes A Mistake and Refuses To Admit It»…