Downing Centre Courts

In my long (long) list of fantasies, #3 has always been «Attend a real life court case.» I know it’s not very sexy, but there it is. Plus, you should see some of the others.
I’ve never had the chance, however, and it’s not really something you can just invite yourself along to. As luck would have it though, the psychotic ex-​girlfriend of one of my good friends obliged me with the opportunity to go to court. AND to be taking sides with the defendant and sitting in his, you know, his little area. Whatever that’s called. Schweeeet.
I knew what would happen: first we’d hustle through a media scrum with jackets over our faces shouting «No comment!» Then we’d get a police escort, who’d lead us through long hallways lousy with drunks and handcuffed robbers — some wearing masks — and skeezy prostitutes trying to stab anyone they can reach with their stilettos.
Sadly, it was a slow day at Downing Centre. We were pretty much the only ones there. Our lawyer was wearing fake tan. Theirs had vitiligo. It was super weird. The judge turned up just in time for us to apologise and tell him we’d reached a settlement, neither side’s bluff having worked.
So. It may have been a little sanitised, depressed even, but I can strike fantasy #3 off my list. On to #4. Anyone know where Megan Fox lives these days?

You, as a taxpaying citizen, are granted the legal right to attend the public courts and scrutinise the ongoing process of justice. While most people will not have been here since their Legal Studies excursion in high school or their last sentencing, this might seem like a strange thing to suggest as a day’s activity. But it is at once entertaining, educational, and illuminating.
Certainly, there are minor inconveniences, such as having to give up your cell phone when you arrive and passing through a security check, but once inside you are free to roam from courtroom to courtroom, looking for the case that appeals most to your curiosity. I would honestly recommend this to anyone as an interesting way to spend at least a portion of a day: it certainly isn’t the climax of A Few Good Men, but it is fascinating in its own particular way. Not to mention a ruthlessly efficient way to teach your children about the importance of becoming law abiding citizens