Milk The Cow

I was a big fan of Milk the Cow when I first visited its flagship store in St Kilda in 2014. I still think the concept is appealing but I was very disappointed by my visit to the newer Lygon Street store yesterday. I opted for the three cheese cheeseboard recommended by the waiter, rather than the flight option. I ordered a glass of wine I enjoyed in spite of the price tag (a hefty $ 18.50). The cheeseboard was tasty but very measly and served with five small slides of bread. I had assumed that a $ 32 cheeseboard would offer twice the amount of food that was served to us. We requested more bread, and were subsequently charged $ 7.
Four glasses of wine between two of us and the cheeseboard left us with a $ 100 bill. I really don’t know how the store can justifiable charge these prices with other similar offerings close by. I won’t be heading back.

I wined and dined at Milk the Cow, a licensed fromagerie and wine bar in St Kilda. We walked into Milk the Cow and immediately vibed with the atmosphere. Amy Winehouse, cushy banquettes, and a cheese case that made me wonder how vegans don’t suffer from depression. We started off the evening with a glass of La Prova Prosecco from Victoria to get our appetites going. This was dinner for us, so we went big. The 5 cheese cheesemonger’s choice board had a wide range of cheeses from France, the Netherlands, and of course Australia. Some were young and buttery, others aged for 2 years and super sharp. We were in heaven. The cheeseboard was served with crispy, house-​made lavash and a few slices of french baguette. We tried 2 other wines that night — a Parker Estate Shiraz and a Kalleske GSM blend, both from South Australia. The Shiraz was very disappointing. Both wines were 12.50 AUD per glass, but the GSM was far tastier. All I could smell on the nose of the Shiraz was rubbing alcohol — maybe it was a bad batch? On the other hand, the GSM was scrumptious. The wine was full-​bodied, had layered and complex flavors, with lots of ripe red fruits at first and ending with a mouthful of spice and soft tannins. After Izzy and I enjoyed the cheeseboard we still wanted more, so we ordered the de lasanis (translates to of lasagna). Milk the Cow is not a typical restaurant — more of a wine and cheese bar. Their only two cooked items are a baked brie and a mac’n’cheese (in addition to a few fondues). Like true Americans, we went with the mac’n’cheese aka de lasanis. Two different types of gruyère, truffle oil, and cognac added luxury to what resembled Easy Mac noodles. It was served in a miniature dutch oven set over a candlelit burner. The portion was comical for 19 AUD. Izzy and I joked that each of our noodles were delicious. While we won’t be ordering the mac’n’cheese next time, we also won’t go back to Milk the Cow for dinner. It is a great date spot (girls’ night spot for all the single ladies) and a wonderful place for pre/​post-​dinner drinks and apps. Just don’t go for dinner. The service by the waitstaff was a team effort, but Lewis served us for most of the evening. He was light, friendly, and charismatic. He also shared some information about a cheese + wine special that they have on Sundays! After we had paid, he even gave us both a tasting of the Riesling that is part of the special. We’ll definitely be returning for another visit.

Other than avocado and chicken or Brad and Angelina, there are few things in this world that go better together than wine and cheese. Therefore I will forever be grateful to Milk the Cow and their incredible wine and cheese flights.
Here’s the deal — enjoy four different wines and four different cheese perfectly matched in delightful portion-​controlled sizes. They come in two sizes, 30ml/​15g or 90ml/​30g — naturally I generally go with the latter because YOLO.
Ladies and gents, I can assure you this is a life-​changing flight. Sure, you will immediately have food-​guilt upon completion and will likely have weird cheese dreams for the next three to four days, but it’s worth it.
A great spot to pop in to before or after catching a flick at the Nova.

It is no secret that I a few guilty pleasures… Coffee, wine and cheese. I am not that different to most Unilocalers!
This place has all three.
Lets start with the cheese… Cheese boards, tasting platters and cheese by weight!
Moving on to coffee… I didn’t see any here, I was stuck on the cabinet of cheese!
Lastly, wine? well they have a great wine list, and a cider list, and a beer list and they even has sake! it is truly amazing!
You must give this a try!

Spending time with friends over wine and cheese is definitely up there as one of life’s simple pleasures, so Milk The Cow has certainly got the concept right with this eat-​in cheese shop/​wine bar.
In my books, the cheese is the star here. A great chance to taste your way through lots of interesting and delicious options straight up on a board, with charcuterie, as fondue (oh hi 1970, welcome back!) or even in their own mac & cheese creation.
As a bar, they serve wine, beer, sake and other spirits (even cheese and tequila matching!) which you can get by the glass, bottle or as a tasting flight. The flights are a bit of fun for a first visit and can be paired with cheese flights.
Unfortunately I can’t comment too much on the wine selection because I have found the St. Kilda store so bad on this front (both selection and staff knowledge) that in my mistrust I opted for beer when visiting the Carlton store. But my dining counterparts were happy with their selections. I think it’s fine as a wine bar to go to for a casual drink with friends, but not my pick for Melbourne or somewhere I would ever send wine buffs. Not to be taken too negatively — some of my favourite places to drink wine can be a tad overwhelming to others so it is nice to have an easy crowd-​pleaser.
Seating wise, set up for small groups and couples along the wall, with a couple of larger tables at the back that can be reserved if you have a group of 6+.
Not somewhere I would choose myself, but definitely somewhere I would happily join others to get excited over cheese with.

For the love of all the sweet cheese. I’m sure if Kayne drops by here he’ll be changing his name from Yeezus to Cheeses and signing high praises to gouda. Thankfully Milk the Cow have taken one piece of advice from Mr West and gone North. It’s a welcome respite from the faux I-​talian restaurants that swamp Lygon St.
There’s now front door hawkers trying to bully you into for a meal. There’s nice staff, ambient lighting and all the cheese. We stopped by, without reservation, on a Friday night for a girls session. The staff promptly found us a table and happily obliged with answering all the cheese questions. Between three of us we tried two flights– a sparkling and a wine. On offer is also a beer, whiskey or cider flight. As the dedicated friend and designated driver I opted for the smaller size drink flight. Perfectly paired sparkling with cheese. Even stinky blue cheese was eaten. After dipping into the cheese and ignoring the coma warning signals we also ordered a house selection of cheeses. Not badly price at $ 37 for 5 cheeses plus quince paste, a nutty/​seed thingy and breads.
One star was lost for the painfully slow service. It felt that we were put aside once it was discovered that we weren’t going to be spending up huge amounts on booze. Even after declining more wine as a self declared driver the staff seemed a bit reserved when I asked about non-​alcoholic drinks on offer. Drinks took awhile to come out as did bread to accompany the cheese. As an overly relaxed group we are easy money.
Without a doubt I’ll be back here again. Any excuse for cheeses.